How can Counselling help me?

Counselling will give you a safe space to talk about either a planned or a previous abortion in complete confidence. Your counsellor will not tell you what to do – they will give you the chance to talk through your thoughts and feelings.

Abuse means that you have experienced behaviour that is harmful to you. It may be in the past or in the present and can be physical, emotional or sexual abuse. Talking to a counsellor will help you to identify how this abuse is affecting you and help you feel positive about your life now and in the future. The confidential nature of counselling means you can safely talk about difficult events or relationships.

If you are Addicted to certain behaviours or substances – it is likely that something that you originally did for enjoyment or to feel better now feels out of your control. It may affect all areas of your life in a negative way. Talking to a counsellor will be a first step towards identifying how to build coping skills to help you regain control of your life.

There are many different changes in a young person’s life as they move from childhood to adulthood. From mood swings and frustration to all the pressures of social media – although adolescence is something everyone experiences – those experiences are different for everyone. You may not want to talk to your family or friends – and it can be very reassuring to talk to a counsellor to share your feelings.

If you are an adopted child or adult you may have unresolved feelings about being adopted – you may want to talk about decisions you want to make to explore your past and plan for the future. If you are hoping to adopt a child – it can be helpful to have a third party you can talk to in confidence about any feelings or concerns that you have. Only counsellors and psychotherapists who are registered with Ofsted as part of an Adoption Support Agency can legally offer adoption counselling.

Ageing is a natural transition that is likely to cause changes in a person’s life. People may find it difficult to adapt to their life once they retire from employment; some may face feelings of isolation and loneliness; changes in physical health and decreased mobility may also have an impact. Having someone to talk to and share feelings that you may not want to talk about with your partner or family can be very beneficial.

Many advances have been made in the treatment of HIV/AIDS and people can manage the condition, stay healthy and live longer lives. Counselling can be helpful if you want to talk in confidence with someone who can empathise with you and offer support.

If you are aware that angry emotions and behaviours are having a negative effect on your life and those around you it can be very helpful to talk about the causes and how you can identify and manage situations where you experience excess anger. Some people ‘lash out’ verbally or physically and others suppress their anger and may not have the words to express their feelings. Talking to a therapist can help you realise that although anger is a normal emotion – if it is starting to negatively impact your life there are ways to help you ‘manage’ your anger.

Anxiety may occur in response to a particular situation – or may be a feeling that seems to be there all the time. As well as feelings such as apprehension and worry – often experienced as ‘expecting the worst’ - you may also experience physical symptoms such as sleeplessness, ‘pounding’ heart, sweaty palms, and even panic attacks. Most People can relate to the anxiety experienced in an activity like ‘public speaking’ – but if anxiety seems to be there all the time it makes life feel very difficult.

A therapist can help you identify the source of your anxiety and give you various skills to use to deal with anxiety as it occurs.

Whether it is in a work situation or in your personal life – some people find it difficult to express themselves and get their point of view across. There are all sorts of techniques and exercises that can help you learn how to be assertive and this will in turn increase your self-confidence and help to build your self-esteem.

The death of a loved one or the loss of anything that is significant in your life (a pet, a relationship, even a job) can result in a range of powerful and confusing feelings. You may feel lost and full of conflicting emotions – for example, anger, grief, or hopelessness. You may not want to talk with friends and family and there may be nobody to tell you what to expect and how to cope. Nobody can replace what you have lost but it can be very helpful to have a trained counsellor to talk to at such times.

Bullying can affect both children and adults and can make you feel very alone and frightened. It may make you feel as if you are powerless and there is no solution. Social media can mean that the bullies can seem to follow you into the safety of your own home – it feels as if there is no escape. Therapy can allow you to talk about what is happening and get support in the current situation and skills to change the future.

It is important that you speak to a trusted person who is experienced in dealing with bullying so you are not trying to cope alone while feeling vulnerable.

A diagnosis of cancer will impact upon the patient and all those around them. Treatment can be arduous and a person is likely to feel afraid of just what the future holds. Physical changes such as hair and weight loss, weakness and debility can all impact a person’s emotional state.

You may have lots of questions and are likely to want reassurance – in addition to advice from your medical practitioner, being able to speak with a knowledgeable and compassionate person such as a counsellor can be a great help throughout a difficult time.

As a carer for a family member or a loved one, you may find yourself feeling unsupported and exhausted. You may feel angry and abandoned yourself at the same time as having to be strong and capable for the person you are caring for. Perhaps you are having to cope with issues about finances and benefits and perhaps have other dependents as well. By talking to a counsellor you can talk about you and your feelings and seek help in creating coping strategies to share the load.

Counselling can offer children and young people with social, emotional or behavioural concerns a safe space to help them move towards greater well-being. Counselling can also help children and young people to explore any issues arising at home, school, in their peer group and community. Any event or trauma that affects a family may also have an effect on a child and they may not understand or be able to express their feelings – a trained counsellor, preferably one on a specialist CYPT Accredited register, can work with them and offer support with a range of issues.

You can find therapists that specialise in working with children and young people using the filters on our directory

We live in a multicultural society. For some people, events have forced them to move from their homeland to a different country. Understanding how to negotiate cultural differences and customs can be easier with the support of a counsellor whose training has included issues of equality, diversity and inclusion.

Depression is an illness that can affect anybody, at any stage in their life. Some people become depressed as a reaction to a specific life event and others find that for no apparent reason a ‘low mood’ becomes something more pervasive. It is important to talk to your GP if you are feeling depressed and they can help you decide the best course of action. They may recommend a course of counselling – cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can also be helpful by giving you techniques to challenge your negative thought patterns.

‘Disability’ can mean different things to different people and for some people they may have been born with or completely accepted/adapted to any change in the way they interact with the world. For those who experience a ‘disability’ later in life such as following an illness or an accident, it may be difficult to reach an acceptance and come to terms with such changes. For example, those who have served in the armed forces may suffer life-changing injuries and as well as any physical impact this can have an emotional impact upon the individual concerned and their families. Having the opportunity to talk about such feelings and emotions with a counsellor can be a way of working through any unresolved issues.

The breakdown and end of a relationship can be difficult and painful for all concerned. By the nature of the circumstances, the person you might normally turn to for support and help is not available. Talking to a counsellor either individually or as a couple can be helpful. To help with difficulties within your relationship and how best to move forward, it is best to choose a relationship therapist on a specialist register. 

You can find therapists that specialise in relationship therapy using the filters on our directory

Eating disorders can cover a whole spectrum of behaviours relating to an individual’s choices around food for example anorexia and bulimia. The physical effects of eating disorders can be very harmful to an individual and in extreme cases may be fatal. Counselling can help with identifying the underlying issues that may be causing the issues – for example body image and the pressures of social media. A person may not know why they have an issue with eating and they may feel unable to help themselves. Counselling can offer emotional support and comfort on the journey to recovery.

Families will change and grow along with each individual family member. The behaviour of each family member may affect the whole family. Natural changes such as the birth of a new child, the illness or death of a family member and even something such as the ‘empty nest syndrome’ will affect the dynamic of the family group. Talking to a therapist can be helpful and some therapists are on a specialist relationship therapist register.  They may be trained to work with families as a group and help all members understand how events that affect one can affect all.

If you are experiencing difficulties with managing your finances, or find yourself falling into debt, it is likely to be helpful to talk to a counsellor. A specialist debt counsellor can provide specific help such as working out a plan to make changes and will be able to link you to different agencies that can offer support.

If you are confused about your gender identity, sometimes called gender dysphoria, it may be helpful to speak to a specialist counsellor who has done additional training in transgender and sexual diversity issues.

Perhaps there is nothing really wrong with your life but you just feel generally unhappy and want to talk to someone about your feelings and maybe get help with making changes. The opportunity to talk with a therapist can give you a ‘sounding board’ to help you identify why you are feeling unhappy. The chance to reflect on yourself and your feelings can be a very useful exercise to help you acknowledge your achievements and talk about ideas and plans for the future.

Acute or chronic illness and the end of life will impact the individual concerned and their loved ones. Practical support from nurses and carers may be available and the hospice movement offers invaluable support. People may feel depressed, angry and confused (both the patient and those around them) and counselling gives the opportunity to explore these feelings. A person may want to ‘protect’ their loved ones and not talk about their feelings – counselling can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to talk.

Mindfulness practice is a way of learning how to identify your thoughts and control your mind. A therapist trained in this area will give you the techniques to help you do this and for many, it becomes a life-long practice that they do for themselves.

If you cannot stop recurring, negative thoughts coming into your mind or you have to have to touch or count things or repeat the same action like washing your hands over and over, you may be diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Counselling can be helpful to identify the source of your anxieties and learn techniques to help you change your obsessive behaviours. If you speak to your GP, they may help by referring you to a counsellor and may prescribe medication.

Most people will use their own experience of childhood and the parenting that they received as a basis for parenting their children. Some people never have the opportunity to experience ‘good’ parenting. The experience of becoming a parent is often challenging and counselling can offer valuable support at this time.

A phobia is an extreme fear that may seem irrational to others but is very real to the person who has the fear. In extreme situations, a phobia may have a negative impact on an individual and their family. Counselling can help you explore why you have the phobia and how you can take control of your feelings and reactions to the fear.

After a serious traumatic event, people are likely to feel distressed and can experience symptoms for some time. It is common to feel anxious, angry, and emotional, and to have difficulty putting the event out of their mind. Some people develop a more severe condition called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. They may experience:

• Flashbacks and nightmares – they relive the event in their mind, again and again.
• Avoid thinking about it - by keeping busy and avoiding anything or anyone that reminds them of the event.
• Feeling ‘on guard’ – they stay alert all the time, can’t relax, feel anxious and can’t sleep.
• Physical symptoms – aches and pains, diarrhoea, irregular heartbeats, headaches, feelings of panic and fear, depression.

Consulting a GP in the first instance is important. Therapy may help. For example, CBT can help a person to think differently about their memories and teach relaxation techniques. Eye movement desensitisation & reprocessing (EMDR) uses eye movements to help the brain process flashbacks and make sense of the traumatic experience.

Counselling can be helpful when there are difficulties relating to pregnancy. Difficulties in conception, difficulties during pregnancy and birth and in the period after the birth of a child can affect both the mother and other family members. Being able to talk to a counsellor in confidence may help with any of these issues.

Relationships, whether intimate or with family members and/or friends, are an important part of life. When there are problems or when relationships ‘break down’ it can be helpful to talk to a counsellor to help move forward. Some people find it difficult to form relationships with others and the ‘therapeutic relationship’ offered in counselling can be very helpful in such cases by providing a safe space in which to learn and practice relationship skills. To help with difficulties within your relationship and how best to move forward, it is best to choose a relationship therapist on a specialist register.

You can find therapists that specialise in relationship therapy using the filters on our directory

People may self-harm by taking tablets, cutting, burning, piercing or swallowing objects. It is more common in young people, women, gay and bisexual people. Some people self-harm regularly - it can become almost an addiction.

Talking to a therapist may be helpful to help you understand and explore your self-harming behaviour. You should really see someone who has a lot of experience of helping people who self-harm, and who knows about mental health problems. Your GP should be able to refer you.

Some people are more comfortable in same-sex relationships and some in opposite-sex relationships. This may change during a person’s life and can be very fluid, or it may be more fixed. It may be helpful to talk to a therapist if you want to explore your feelings about identity.

To help with difficulties relating specifically to sex, it is best to choose a psychosexual therapist using the filters on our directory.

Shyness is a fairly common feeling - if it's mild, it doesn't really spoil life. A lot of people worry about meeting new people but once they are with them they can relax and enjoy the situation. If you have a social phobia, you get extremely anxious when you are with other people.

A long-term social phobia may create other mental health issues such as depression or drug and alcohol abuse. Some people may develop agoraphobia and feel unable to leave the house.

A therapist may be able to help by helping you with social skills training; or with a therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) which can help you change the way you feel about yourself and other people.

Some counsellors, for example, those following a Jungian or Psychosynthesis approach, include a spiritual emphasis in their work. Pastoral counselling is also available for people following a particular religion. A spiritual dimension can also be found in 12-step programmes for alcohol and substance misuse, compassion-focused therapy and forgiveness therapy. Spirituality often becomes more important in times of emotional stress, physical and mental illness, loss, bereavement and end of life.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts and feel that you may harm yourself or want to take your own life it is important to tell someone and get help. If your thoughts around suicide are consuming, there are many options for keeping safe:

• Talk to someone you trust and ask for help
• Call 999 and ask for an ambulance
• Go to your nearest A&E department
• Talk to an advisor at the Samaritans.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts but do not feel that you will take any action we advise that you contact your GP for further advice.

For further information and/or advice about immediate help please visit:
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

If you are experiencing suicidal feelings and feel that you may harm yourself / take your own life you may want to phone and talk to an advisor at the Samaritans. If you are experiencing suicidal feelings generally but do not feel that you will take any action, then it will be good to speak to your GP for advice and they may well refer you for counselling.

VISIT THE NHS WEBSITE

If you have experienced any sort of very dangerous or stressful event that made you feel both frightened and powerless, you may find that you feel unsafe and vulnerable and unable to cope with day to day life. Events such as major accidents, natural disasters or being the victim of a mugging or other violent attack may leave you feeling unable to cope. Even once any physical effects have healed you may still experience emotional and psychological trauma and not understand why you cannot ‘get over it’. Talking to a trained counsellor can help you to explore your feelings and help you to heal ‘on the inside’ as well as the outside.

For a person to either directly experience or even witness a violent event will likely have an ongoing negative influence on their lives. They may feel fear, disbelief and anger (as well as any physical effects) and may find that they no longer feel confident about carrying on with life as before. People may want to protect their loved ones by reassuring them that ‘everything is ok’ and they may suppress their true feelings.

Counselling can offer confidential support in coping with and recovering from such experiences.